Saturday, 7 September 2013

Official Assassin's Creed Hidden Blade Review. Shoddy Equipment For The Modern Day Budget Assassin


The life of a modern assassin is a tough one. Better forensic science and more CCTV surveillance than ever makes you average social stealth assassination no longer the walk in the park that it was for our ancestors. But no matter what obstacles you face, you'll always know that your most useful assassination tool will always be there, snugly hugging to your wrist. That's right, it's your old companion, the hidden blade gauntlet. Except now it's the modern age, so it's flimsy, uncomfortable and since now blades are illegal out in public, it's all made of the finest plastic thirty pounds can buy.

Tuesday, 3 September 2013

Poetry Corner 8: Cynics@Comic Con

(Once again Harvey was supposed to look over and post this, hence the 12 hour delay. Bon Appetite)

Hello everyone, we just got back from Comic Con, and while I forgot to bring my camera so there are no pictures (Except all of us got a picture on the Iron Throne that I will try and make people upload at some point). So yeah, it was really fun, there was some great costumes, some cool stars, got to see Brian Blessed, Anthony Head...Syrio Forel...The cast of Red Dwarf? Bought some cool stuff as well, like a Totoro keyring and a Death Note. The next one is in October. I'm looking forward to getting another 50 3DS spot-passes.
(Article writing resumes tomorrow. Look out for more podcasts as well) ((Forgive the terrible strain it was to rhyme everything with "con", I think I wore out that bit way too early, oh well, what better way than poems to be wax lyrical about your life) 

It is a credit to Comic Con's everywhere that no-one tried to pop his balloons. 

We woke at the break of dawn
Or perhaps nearer seven
Enough to make you yawn
When you frequently wake up at eleven.

Monday, 2 September 2013

"How To Bullshit People And Make Money" With Self Help Guru Early Jackson


This is Early Jackson and he's going to change your life and your idea of what words can constitute a first name. He may just look like a regular man. He may even look like a slightly sleazy man. A snake oil salesman of words and false hope. A strange case of a man whose job description is to teach people how to be successful and yet seems to have achieved no actual success outside of the sphere of teaching people how to be successful. Confusing I know, but I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation other than just preying on people's desperation. Anyway, let's explore this some more.