Friday, 19 April 2013

The Plague Of Life Lessons, Positive Thoughts And Other Bullshit Infecting Facebook

Simplistic, fluffy advice has always been irritating. Ever since the first humans evolved the ability of self denial, mankind has been able to continue it's losing battle against nature as it struggles to inhabit, but fail to ever find happiness in a world that is almost solely comprised of unfairness and pain. For the temporarily lucky few, they will only really feel this inevitable crushing disappointment on the eve of their death when they feel everything they've ever come to achieve torn from them by the indifferent claws of the abyss. These claws also have the added effect of not only forcing you into an existential coma where you are imprisoned helplessly alone within your own mind by the sickening grip of inescapable terror, but comes along with the inconvenient side effects of; causing you to believe in sky gods for comfort, having to plan the worst party of your life that you won't even be able to attend and at some point nearer the very end if you're very unlucky, shit yourself.

Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Pre-Owned Gaming and the (Under-Rated) Dynasty Warriors Franchise

So with all this talk about the Xbox 720 (or 3, or whatever you want to call it) and the PS4 considering whether to have Pre-Owned games "be a thing" (a retarded conversation in and of itself), I am reminded of a story I tell in defense of why the industry needs Pre-Owned games to function.

So picture the scene, a young Chapman, fresh off the boat from Germany and around the 12-13 area of his life (little did he know what horrors awaited him). He was in a nondescript shopping center, looking around the local Gamestation/Game for something to buy with his insignificant amount of pocket money given to be him by his Nan. Obviously little Chapman cannot buy a new game with his small sum, so he wanders over to the Pre-Owned section of the early to mid 2000s, and on the shelf he does spy.

I don't think it could've been much more than 5 pounds. It was about 3 years old at that point.

Monday, 15 April 2013

What About Cynics YouTube Update

Hello Cynics, this is just a quick one, though do not threat, I'm writing a full article as we speak as well. But I promised Simon I would do this for a while now, so here we go.

Basically, as you might know, we have a YouTube channel that does Podcasts and Let's plays, and all those other nerdy good things that we like to do. Now the YouTube channel just hit 700 views overall...Which is pretty terrible if you consider that is roughly what we get a day on the site. 

If you don't like pictures of our cartoons face ad-infinitum, then I question why you come on this site
(please don't go)

Seemingly the reason for the lack of views is that when you guys watch the video on our YouTube player isn't embedded (if anyone knows how to fix that, I would be eternally grateful). As such, I guess we just kindly request you go on the channel itself, click around, like and subscriber if you want. It would be nice to boost the numbers on the place where they are actually shown. Rather than all the impress charts I get to look at on the actual website, but no-one sees. 

Sunday, 14 April 2013

Assassin's Creed III Discussion And Black Flags Wishlist

For your time wasting pleasure, here is a small and yet strangely long discussion Aaron and myself had about Assassin's Creed 3. Aaron thinks its good and I think it's average. Let's see who will win the most important and complex debate since whether or not the Wii U sucks balls.

Also included are some hopes and dreams for how Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flags
 will turn out and how they could make it better. One way could be to not make it about pirates, which is as much of a sign that a franchise has run out of ideas, as when a sitcom gets turned into a film and the plot is that the cast are going on holiday.

If you have any ideas or thoughts about Assassins Creed or it's inevitable yearly sequels, or simply ideas about what we should discuss, please share in the comments.