Thursday, 7 November 2013

Inori Aizawa: The Internet Explorer Anime Magic Girl Mascot

There are somethings you expect never to have to write about, one of them for me, even without my knowledge, was an article on a Microsoft mascot who always happened to be an anime magic girl for the default Windows browser Internet explorer. But hey, time makes fools of us all, and I'm now about to post beneath this very paragraph the (pretty excellently) animated two minute battle video charting the struggles of one Inori Aizawa. After that, I'll try and explain the thinking behind it...If there was any.

As I said, very pretty, nice music as well, reminded me of Rusty Hearts.

(Oh yeah, before I continue, Poetry corner is delayed because of an imposing essay on French Communism I've been neglected. Also, yes, the rumours are true, Star Wars auditions are being held in Bristol, and yes, I will be trying out, and yes, mainly to try get JJ Abram's ear to not direct another Star Wars movie: Might be an article later in the week, anyway, topic at hand).

So yeah, I'm a self admitted anime fan, so I guess I should be the most receptive of Western audiences to this...and I don't really get it. The premise is that the magic girl transformation scene we see (complete with implied nudity, 10 points for sticking to source material) is symbolic of the transformation of Internet Explorer from the buggy piece of shit that we all know and hate, to something cool, streamlined and apparently cutesy as hell.


So we start with a rather battered looking Inori getting her pre-transformation ass kicked across the floor by what I can only assume are suppose to be viruses or something. After a bit of being knocked about, she drops a weird shield thing on the floor, which she will then immediately pick up to not only deflect a laser blast, but also start her "awesome", quarter of the video length transformation into the "new Internet explorer" which apparently has a dashing mini-skirt, mech arm and energy shield...

Count me in Microsoft! Not even sure if I'm joking anymore

Billions of dollars went into scientifically designing her to be cute. 

I'm actually told that this was designed to launch with the introduction of Internet Explorer to Singapore, and perhaps it'll work really well. I mean Firefox and Google Chrome don't have a cute Anime girl personification so that is definitely a thing IE now leads the field in. I think the video also lends itself to a sequel, as the penultimate shows Aizawa facing down against a giant virus thing in her new form. (Hint: The Ultimate shot is Aizawa with her adorable cat sidekick)

If you download the Anime version of IE you get plenty of scenes like this...
The joy!



I have literally no idea if Microsoft intend to expand this concept, I guess the hard part of designing Inori and her world has already been done, I imagine it'll be down to the reception of video, though I have no idea how you track the success of a programme that literally comes pre-installed on every computer shipped with Windows. It'll be interesting to see what Microsoft deems a success.

I'm actually pretty interested if any of the related merchandise that comes with Anime characters will appear, Inori Aizawa Statuettes? Dakimakuras? (google it) Visual Novel Dating Sim?  I can only imagine some 
loser will make a lot of Pornography, it is seemingly inevitable. 



Apple? Mozilla? Google? Need to retort, I got you covered guys, don't worry.
(Crossover anime when? I'm thinking the Anime Avengers of Browsers)


Oh yeah, she also has a Facebook page/website where you can "download her" (AKA, Internet Explorer) and it seems like they are pretending it is actually her talking...

Yes, Microsoft made a virtual Waifu, stay weird Internet. Stay weird.

(Next article will either be Poetry Corner or "How the Star Wars audition went", depending on how quickly this essay gets done. Truly sorry for the delay)

16 comments:

  1. Good luck with the essay on French Communism. Poems can wait.
    Also good luck with the audition, I see you as a storm trouper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. One of my dreams is to own a set of Storm Trooper gear/Star Trek Uniform. I dream big....

      Delete
  2. How about an ewok?

    Good article but you being in Star Wars has distracted me somewhat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha "being in Star Wars" might be jumping the gun, the audition queue was similar to a slaughterhouse line.

      Delete
  3. A Dantari. Just develop a slouch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 10/10 for Star Wars knowledge I barely knew.

      Delete
  4. Grudgingly, I think this anime shenanigan is a good ploy.

    don't go catching any diseases off those bohemian, actory types.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Arnofini is a hotspot for bohemians on any other day. Yesterday there was significantly more desperation in the air.

      Delete
  5. I seriously hope the Asian market isn't gullible enough to fall for this.

    Do MS even have to compete with Firefox/Chrome in asia?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have no idea. Perhaps Anime Girls and Internet Browsers go hand-in-hand in the far east.

      Delete
  6. When you hit strataspheric stardom, remember us, the little people.

    The whole article has been eclipsed by your impending celebrity-hood:/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *The whole article has been eclipsed by my impending exploration of how desperate 16-23 year olds become at the chance for fame.

      Delete
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