Thursday, 3 October 2013

Interviews with a Dogger: Bristol, Tog Hill

So here is an article that should have been finished a week ago if it wasn't for Illness and University which have been knocking me for six on respective days now. But yes, enjoy, hopefully my content production should pick up now that I'm over "Freshers Flu", though boy did I cringe typing that.

It is a well known fact that here at What About Cynics we do very little in the field reporting, because frankly reporting on Aquaman and the 3DS rarely has that component short of visits to Comic Con. But aren't you in for a treat because last week I embarked on a four man mission to notorious Bristol (Bristol, United Kingdom) dogging spot, Tog Hill.


Car chase will be exaggerated until it sounds like this scene. 




(All names except my own have been changed for the purpose of this)



Unfortunately it was nowhere near this easy to find.

So picture the scene, Fresher's week is nearing an end, your crippling flu hasn't yet manifested itself in your throat and you are slightly bored on the weekend. What is the perfect way to spend this night, you gather four friends, one with the capability to drive, and you get looking. All we had to go on was the name "Tog Hill" and the GPS on my phone.

I quickly drew us a plan of action to approach Tog Hill.

Yes I have Windows 8 and Yes it is horrific.

We arrived at around half eleven, not clued in to when the key dogging hours were, we figured Midnight sounded sinister and enticing enough that some doggers could be found. It was around about this time, my driver (D for short), started to express doubt at the whole escapade, but needless to say he was silenced by C, who for reference was in the front passenger seat. Now as we slowly approached the area, which I will picture below, the first thing we noticed was there was an inordinate amount of cars there for midnight at a picnic area, fuelling our hopes that our search was not in vain. 

Unfortunately you can't street view it. But for reference this circuit is where the cars parked and rotated.

Anyway, we spent a good half an hour monitoring the steady flow of cars in and out of this Car park area, they'd go around in a perfect loop, sometimes stopping, sometimes going to the secondary car park located at the top. Whatever we had discussed, this rich culture had traditions, rituals and most importantly, a code, and we needed to break it if our journey into Tog Hill was going to continue.

Around this time we discussed our plan of action, how could we integrate ourselves with these people? Our first attempt to follow a set of cars as they left ended in failure (A surprising amount of sports cars in the dogging scene), so upon our return, we debated the merits of each strategy.

Doug Interview

Then a car pulled up about 8 feet away from us, and a guy got out. So, the last of my comrades, B, did something so mind blowingly ingenious that up until then we could not have possibly conceived it. He got out and talked to the guy. Doug (again, not his real name), turned out to be a nice enough chap, apparently a frequenter of Tog Hill, he told us that Summer is the peak time, and that Thursday and Saturday are prime times.

We discussed things such as the caliber of the women, the fact his girlfriend didn't approve, what groups usually arrive in, the places, and the people. Overall it was a very informative conversation, however, it was cut short, as soon, we'd be forced to flee Tog Hill

The really lame chase

 While three of us were talking to Doug, the fourth of our party, the driver, had his attention caught by another car in the Tog Hill area, they flickered the headlights multiple times, coaxing him to go over, and he did, our minds put at ease, I suppose, by the friendly nature of Doug.

A few minutes later we heard revving, the car that had motioned driver made erratic movements and was zooming around the car park, at the same moment we saw D running towards us, silhouetted by the headlights like in the "No Country for Old Men" poster, shouting to get into the car. Hastily, without even saying goodbye to Doug we did so, D got in last, refusing to talk as he started the car and we proceeded to speed out of Tog Hill.

While his reason as to why they started was jumbled, it basically seems that he tried to make a joke and they took it badly. He also suspects they weren't there to Dog and merely to cause trouble. We managed to lose the car before we hit Wick.

So what did we learn.



Very little, dogging seems to be primarily done by the middle aged. People who don't Dog go to these spots  for research and malice. Doggers are surprisingly fine with being interviewed. The women we saw were nowhere near as unattractive as you'd imagine. Tog Hill is indeed, a dogging site. Never ask someone where the 24 hour tesco is.

Until next time. 

21 comments:

  1. Were you in the upper or lower car park? If lower, it's even funnier.

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    1. We changed from Car Park to Car Park, primarily in the lower though, the chase however, was in the upper. One day I'll make actors recreate the scene

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  2. Imagine the poor sod who turns up expecting to just enjoy his ham and mustard sandwhiches in peace....

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    1. Haha, there was one ancient old man who was either the worlds most veteran dogger, or just really wanted to read his paper in quiet.

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  3. This means sex, right?

    (Not taking your Border Collie for a walk....)

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    1. Unfortunately I've yet to infiltrate the underground dog walkers society, I'll try when Winter moves in.

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  4. Article: brilliant fun.
    Map:nowhere near big enough or detailed enough:/

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    1. Indeed, I really tried but Google maps was quite uncooperative. I'll bring a video camera next time

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  5. Glad you are well again.

    I will never be able to look at that picture from "No Country..." again without thinking of you. Is that mental cruelty?

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    1. Not until the courts charge me for it. I'm hoping of pitching the story to J.J Abrams, he'll make something true to my vision

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  6. And we are supposed to believe your illness was freshers flu....

    Great article, laughed til the orange juice came out of my nose:)

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    1. It does seem very dubious I must admit, but I feel the article would be much more action packed if what we are both assuming was true.

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  7. Chandler, "or what my father would call Thursday night".

    If you never watched "Friends", apologies, but also whaaat!

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    1. I think it's probably a law by now that anyone who was old enough to watch Friends must now be sick of every episode having watched them a million times.

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    2. I'm actually kinda sad I lost Comedy Central, now there is no South Park or Friends in my life...It is like the 90s really are gone.

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  8. Anyone (and by anyone I mean Harvey) got anything to say about gta 5 online (and by online I mean trying but not quite managing to be online)?

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    1. I'd write something about it if I could get on. Not really working consistently well enough at the moment for me to have any opinion on it. I don't want to be one of the arseholes who are angry at that since it's pretty understandable due to their traffic and since it's only been a week or so.

      Has your inability to play it broken you down?

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  9. And after all this time!! i have lived only 10 mins from tog hill and i have been an aspiring 'dog man star' for a number of years without knowing what was right on my door step.DAMN!!i'll just get my shoes and coat on.

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  10. Was it an intimidating experience?

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  11. I went on a group walk, at times resembling dogging itself, along the Cotswold Way from the M4 junction to Bath, crossing Tog Hill. We were there from mid-morning, but we still saw people circling in the car park, and also in the truck stop near the M4. No proper contact, although quite amusing.

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  12. What sort of 'university student' writes "amount of cars"? It is "number of cars", idiot!

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