Monday, 26 August 2013

Poetry Corner 7: Social Attitude Test

Sorry for the delay, Harvey was supposed to check this but didn't, so I've just posted it. Bank Holiday Weekend still counts right?

Happy Bank Holiday people, though this one doesn't even have some lame pseudo-religious justification behind it, so just enjoy the day off. Or, if you are like me, enjoy another day off. One of those "Political Compass"-esque tests that will tell you where you stand in the political spectrum. Talk about redundant, but hey, doesn't mean I can't poke some fun at it. I'll post what my results said underneath, though just by reading the poem you'll get the jist of it.

Earlier today, a friend did suggest
That I take the Social Attitude Test
After a shrug and a sigh.
I comply.

Fifty questions later, we have my answer.
Apparently I think humanity is cancer
But not as much as I hate Religion, it seems.
"You'd drown John the Baptist in his streams"

Now excuse me, SAT, you are being unfair.
I just said Religion is a bunch of hot air.
But SAT would not desist.
"Oh, and in Economics, you are a communist"

Well that is a bit of a sweeping statement.
In regards to Capitalism I said "complacent"
Yes I don't think Inheritance should be a thing.
No reason to lock me up in Sing-Sing.

The one score I didn't thrive in was being "tender"
21 out of a hundred, major offender.
Pragmatic, Cynical, Communist
Socialist, Atheist.
I'm blushing SAT, desist. 

My Results

Political Values


These scores indicate that you are a tough-minded moderate progressive; this is the political profile one might associate with a liberated atheist. It appears that you are cynical towards religion, and have a suspicious and unsympathetic attitude towards humanity in general.

Your attitudes towards economics appear communist, and combined with your social attitudes this creates the picture of someone who would generally be described as left-wing.

To round out the picture you appear to be, political preference aside, a pragmatist with many strong opinions.

This concludes our analysis; we hope you found your results accurate, useful, and interesting.


  1. Aaron Chapman, spikey hair
    Historian extraordinare
    Speaks Danish impressively
    And yet he cannot spell Grand Prix
    His politics, I'm fairly sure
    Are left, then left, then left some more
    The ukip podcast that he lead
    Left someone wishing he was dead
    At gaming he is quite the king
    But, more than that, here is the thing
    Without the Harvey, Simon, Aaron trist
    Whataboutcynics would not exist.

    Happy Bank Holiday, cynics.

    1. I don't know about that. Think we could manage without Simon.

    2. Haha, this is taken pride of place in the Word document, though perhaps that is egotistical

  2. Oh yes, liked your poem too!

  3. Thought this one up after reading the papers today.


    Blood red
    Blood shed
    Eyes closed
    Children dead

    Religion says
    Religion said
    My faith is true, you can't deny

    While red
    Blood red
    The corpses lie.

  4. It took 50 questions to discover you are a radical lefty? That many? Good poem, but it's poetry corner 7, ot 6.

    1. See this is why I'll make sure to check Aaron's stuff in the future. What a lazy baby.

    2. Thanks for pointing out the mistake as well. The obsessive compulsion to categorise things properly would break the group apart if this wasn't amended.

    3. I even knew it was 7...Hmm, how dishonourable. Thank you though.

  5. Poem 85
    Talent as a writer 90
    Entertainment value 100

    1. Haha, I'd love to see the questions that would ascertain that.

  6. I was going to point out that you used the rhyme desist with communist twice, but then I felt it leant the poem a sort of symmetry and was most likely deliberate......!

    1. You give the boy too much credit.

    2. I wish I had got to this first, it was intentional I'll have you know. It was a silent homage to my old drill instructor.

  7. That made me smile.."adds by google....teaching poetry".

    1. Teaching Poetry must be insanely hard. I've gained a new respect for my English Lit teachers.

  8. Not many people know that Dr Martin Luther King's idea for a speech came to him in a fish restaurant. He called the waiter over and said, " I'll have the bream". I don't care, I'm drunk.

  9. Awful joke, apologies. No longer inebriated.

    1. I had to google what a Bream was, so I probably wasn't the intended audience. Worth a try. Slightly ironic Obama declared Syria strikes inevitable on the day of the speech.