Thursday, 14 February 2013

News: The Pope Resigns: Do I care? Should you?

So no-one can claim the News is boring. While I say
this even during periods which could charitably described as a "Slow News week". For example, until two days ago, when all anyone was going on about in Britain was the fact that some really, really
cheap Lasagna  ready meals might contain Horse, and then might only contain Horse. Now, other than mis-labelling I don't really see the problem. If you are going to give someone a Horse Lasagna, sell it as one. The mixing thing is slightly less defendable, but only because it doesn't sound like very good consistency/hygiene. But hell, these things are like £1.00, what were you expecting? (Ok, I just heard some might have had painkillers in, that is pretty rough, I'm glad these are getting pulled).

You are willing to eat Dead Animal X, but Dead Animal Y crops up and suddenly everyone has a photoshop/joke to tell.

See, even with the Horse thing you can drag it out to the best part of a paragraph. But fear no longer Britain, we have some possibly interesting news to talk about. The Pope has resigned!

If this was a video, I would insert the Hallelujah music. As it stands, another quite British picture will have to do (Job Centre is where you go to get your money if you don't work)

"But wait" I thought to myself as I heard the news, incredibly hungover yesterday after a Sunday of drinking. "Do I care about the Pope's resignation, does it really matter which celibate old man is preaching hate and intolerance from one of the world's oldest, most corrupt organisations, merely that there is one at all?" I then remembered my head hurt, accidentally rolled the wrong way and fell out of bed. Distracted by getting the taste of "Estrella" (Whatever the hell that was) out of my mouth, ascertaining what the hell I had done via the text trail, and discussing over Steam who I had inflicted myself upon, I wasn't reminded that the World's most notable Catholic had resigned until I walked onto my University Campus. 

Ok, so, let us pause. We all know university isn't as opinionated as it once was (at least in Britain). Sometimes I wonder if some of the students I see around are even capable of forming opinions, let alone having the "audacity" to actually say one and possibly make a conversation half way interesting. Thankfully these are the minority, but I imagine it is growing. Either way, I happen to be vaguely outspoken on the subject of religion, specifically my Atheism and general disdain about Organised Religion. Apparently more so than I thought, because on the way in, people kept asking hungover Aaron what he thought about the Pope.

I type in "sad and confused" into the internet and this is the best you give me? 

My first immediate reaction was the morning thought, why does it matter, just getting replaced etc. But as I thought about it, prompted by my new status as "man who should probably have an opinion on the pope resigning", I decided that it shows a sense of modernity from Benedict XVI (though the sooner he converts to Hindu-Arabic numbers the happier I will be). Sadly enough the idea of someone being too old, crazy or stupid to do their job is not something they have cottoned onto in terms of their supreme leader, take John Paul II, he mentally regressed in office all the way to the grave. A system that would be unacceptable in most other institutions. 

So to conclude: Yes, I do like the fact the Pope has resigned and No, not just because I am an asshole. I also have a weird fascination with those Pope election days, the way they show endless news coverage of 3-4 people talking outside the Sistine Chapel, talking about when the smoke might come up, or who will be elected. I'm pretty sure we all bummed around and watched it the last time it was on.

I hope they pick another really old guy so I can see Pope Smoke for my 25th Birthday.

Pope Smoke was the rejected name for my Screenplay of Benedict XVI's life. The actual title will be "Quiet Resignation". In a cinema near you, 2020. Now where did I put that can of Estrella...


  1. I think I enjoyed the horse comedy more than the Pope stuff. I also notice that in the adverts one of them now just says "Pope Benedict >".

    Lord only knows what that means.

  2. I don't mind the horsemeat as much as the sudden urge to gallop. Re the Pope. I find it vaguely odd that 'God's representative' can just 'resign' - sorry God, got a lot on etc. But then again don't start me on religion, we'd be here for hours.

  3. Oh a black pope next time, please!

  4. Oops! Embarrassing, Mr Cameron. At least while people are talking about horses they're not talking about increased inflation, graduates working for nothing in poundland and the Staffordshire hospital crisis.

  5. While my advice would be to generally steer clear of Coldplay songs if you feel anything but fairly ok (and that's virtually all of them), there is a song called Violet Hill in which there is a line that says 'when the future's architectured by a carnival of idiots on show, you'd better lie low' which brings to mind the election of the new pope..idiots choosing an idiot for other idiots. (No offence).

  6. You've inspired me...