Sunday, 3 February 2013

Assassin's Creed 3 "Haytham Kenway Pictures" (And a mild Cynics update)

Hello there, now, I'm not sure if this is appropriate, Cynics, as I know we don't really know each other, but I've grown to quite like you guys, and hopefully (as for some reason you keep returning) you kinda like us. So I feel obliged to tell you that I just broke up with my girlfriend, an oddly personal note, though she is the artist behind the Webcomics and Banners. Notice I didn't say "was", she said she wants to continue, though we will cross that bridge when we get there. Either way, that explains the inactivity this past week, it has been a long one. On a cheerier note. As I don't feel I can just put this and leave it, prepare for some humour with my "game of January 2013", Assassin's Creed 3. (Also, Sorry Django and Lincoln Review were delayed, I'm working on it)

The Assassin's Creed series takes place throughout different time periods in history, centering on a conflict between two shadowy organizations, that of the Assassin's and Templars. It is one of the few series that basically everyone (even non-gamers) can agree to liking, for its Cinematic direction, Story driven plot, Historical intrigue and easy, yet rewarding combat.

I've taken over 600 screenshots of this game, originally I planned to make a detailed weave of the story, but this is more like a "best of Haytham" the starting character, of my pictures. Here is my favourite character (Haytham, left) and a Captain who is taking him to the new world. Haytham is currently threatening to pimp slap him.

This file is called "Haytham Dodge Tackle Awesome Kenway". This is what real men do during stormy boat rides. (And his hat doesn't even fall off)

I call this "The Facepalm". On a side note, why don't men wear Cloaks/Capes anymore. Or Tricorns for that matter

After maybe an hour of pissing around on a ship (I can only assume to represent the tedium of a real London to Boston ride) Haytham arrives. It is a good thing he is so cool, else there would be trouble.

Here is Haytham and his new friend Charles Lee meeting Benjamin Franklin. Because running into random historically significant figures is a hereditary trait in the Kenway family.

I dread to think what the "Favour" is. Also, we are in British ruled Boston. Why the Christ is it "A Favor". Damn Yanks, they can take our Us, but they can never take our freedom.

He then proceeds to build up a team of semi-important historical figures.

Thomas Hickey
Benjamin Church
 William Johnson.

And then straight after, and I kid you not, Benjamin Franklin talks about how older women are better. Perhaps a poignant point.

Then he meets a Native American Woman who like everyone else in this game, must casually rest against a surface before a mission. It must be a 1750s thing, it stops in the 70s.

This is one of my favourites, Kenway's group has an impressive amount of known dynamics. 

This is the 1750s version of a drive by preparation. Flintlocks at the ready boys.

As I would only work out later, this is Edward Braddock accompanied by none other than a young George Washington. 

And Haytham gets his own little Post-Assassination Confessional thing. Which is just as well, because they are much better in this game than prior.

After a job well done the council meet back at that same Pub and Haytham and Charles stare deeply into each others eyes. These next three pictures are much more hilarious out of context

And so Assassin's Creed 3 got the title of "Most progressive game of 2012/2013" with the engagement of Haytham and Charles. But no, seriously, it would be spoilers to tell you what that was. Find out yourself if you haven't already played.

And there we have it, Sequence 3 and the end of Haytham Kenway's playable sections done. If you haven't played this game already, I suggest you do.


  1. As an anonymous who likes you very much I am so sorry to hear about your break up. Big hug.

    1. Thanks man. It's been really hard.

    2. Get your own sympathy you parasite. Don't make me turn this into a website comic. Thank you though, to all you guys. Fan sympathy is surprisingly poignant.

    3. This is sad news indeed - take care of yourself.

  2. Aye, sorry to hear about it as well man, keep your chin up. Stay Cynical

  3. I second that. Keep that wonderful sense of humour.

  4. First time writer, long time reader. Sorry, but keep at it and you'll be fine

  5. Talking of 'discontent' in the winter...weren't the findings that the body was Richard 3rd amazing? To actually be looking at Richard 3rd's bones!!!(And surprisingly good teeth?).p.s. have expressed deepest sympathy above.

    1. A very good lead-on. It was pretty damn cool, though I remember telling a friend I was upset he wasn't found somewhere more controversial/baffling. Like Chile or St. Petersburg. As a Historian that would've given me plenty to write about.

    2. Maybe you could speculate how he lost that front the Battle of Bosworth? Was it really 'my kingdomth for a horth!'