Sunday, 13 January 2013

David Cameron and the Glorious European Union

Once again I find myself in the position where I have a lot of topics I want to cover in the news over the past week, but not enough to make a full article on each, after all, how many times can you write the sentence "David Cameron is a prat" before it looks like you are stalling for time? (the answer is 74). There is also the matter that British Politics isn't overly popular, and consequently doesn't get too many views or clicks, so if you spice it up with world affairs, I can have my cake and eat it, defying all culinary expectations.

So yeah, turns out I did have enough to say about the Cameron Vs the European Union thing for an article...So here is that article.

I spent a while looking for an appropriately disgusting picture of David Cameron. This one suits the bill nicely, though George Osborne does make every picture 75% more awful. 



In London Town.

While the freshest piece of news out of Britain is that a Big Issue Seller was stabbed to death in Birmingham (My personal opinion being that the Conservatives are taking their war on the poor to it's logical conclusion). A more pressing issue grips the capital, and consequently, the world, because while the UK likes to pretend it is still important in the world, it rarely ever acts with the clarity or the responsibility to warrant such self-praise.

The ill-thought out recklessness of the moment is David Cameron and the Conservative party deciding that they don't really fancy being so close to Europe, and they would much rather be in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, rather than so near to France, and Denmark, and Iceland. I am, of course referring to the continued attempts of David Cameron to threaten to threaten to threaten to walk out of the EU, sadly enough, this actually means something, because Eurosceptic talk can be quite damaging, especially as the United European Project (Of which I feel I should probably make it known I'm 100% behind) is at an all time low confidence wise, primarily due to the current short-comings of the currency of 17 of the current member states, the Euro.

This was originally a comparison of size, I however, take it to be where the Conservatives wish Britain actually was, nestled safely in Texas away from all those "strange talking people". 

Thankfully the ruling party doesn't get to decide geographically where Britain is, though unfortunately they do get to talk loudly and nonsensically about how much they don't like Europe(an Union), and how much they wouldn't mind if they gave the British people a chance to vote on being in Europe. Which of course is silly, because the British people would obvious vote to stay in the European Union for it's many benefits in Trade, Politics, Peace, Science and Technology...Fuck. I was swiftly reminded that many people seem to either A) Choose to ignore those facts B) Are unaware of those facts C) Do not care or D) Just recite what they read in the Sun. Well, in true enlightenment sense, "we cannot trust the peasant with the vote", perhaps our glorious leaders have something better to say.

Thankfully, the Obama Administration steps in, to quietly remind the Conservatives that it is A) Not very close to America and B) Is only really useful to America because it speaks English and is in the EU, sort of like an over celebrated errand boy. Thank goodness someone is talking sense who isn't Nick Clegg (Also Pro-Europe), because at this stage, him supporting something is tantamount to two people being against it.  

Discussing a mutual, secret hatred for every fiber in David Cameron's body.

Amazingly, even some Tories are so ashamed of this behavior from David Cameron, Lord Heseltine has attacked it (and we all know what happened the last time he attacked a Conservative leader), as well as the MEP leader for the Conservatives, though I suppose he risks being out of a job, so perhaps he is slightly bias. But the stereo-typically named Richard Ashworth wouldn't be the only person out of a job if the UK quit the European Union now, would he David?

People don't seem to realise how easy the EU makes everything to do with Europe. You are a Dutch company wanting to set up a business/manufacturing in Britain? Sure, you can be sure the terms won't change, you can enter and exit the country with ease, no visas (More on that later) and you work on a largely homogeneous set of laws. 

What about all that lovely exporting people keep saying we don't need enough to? Well, who do you think it is easiest to export to, that is right, the massive continent right beside us, and you know what makes it easier still. Incredibly simple trading laws guaranteed by our membership in the EU. 

This was getting a bit serious, so here is a comic featuring "Poland Ball", our beloved Voltorb impersonator/Poland representative. 

But it allows all those damn Polish people to move over here, says the angry racist from Kent. Well yes, yes it does, and soon Croatians by the end of this year, and perhaps soon the Turkish. Excellent, they will be able to migrate legally, get above board jobs, pay tax, have opportunity...That sounds terrible (Hint, that does not sound terrible). 

So while we are on the subject of travel, you know how it is a pain to go to places like the US, Australia, or New Zealand, well, as I'm sure you are aware, you don't have that problem if you travel in the EU, because we are a part of it. It also has that little bonus of lines where they only accept EU passports, those things rock. So yeah, no visas, free border travel, and cheaper flights, yes indeed, not only does the European Union make our flights safer, it makes them cheaper, and easier when we arrive. This is very useful for people, and I assume I can't be in the minority here, who have people they want to go visit regularly on the continent. You can also phone people on the continent for less thanks to the European Union, as well as that E111 (known for some reason as the E One, Eleven) which gives you health insurance, for free, while in the EU.
It was the best of times, it was the best times. Though, the next line deserves to be quoted correctly. 
It was the age of Wisdom, it was the age of Foolishness

But no, we should get ride of all the benefits in trade, business, travel, communications, environmental protection, the ease of the Euro instead of Marks, Lira, Francs of different varieties. And why should we? Why, because we are British of course, yes, that made up notion, that made up Nation, we are obviously different and so should isolate ourselves so we can be happy alone. And while it may be true that we give the European Union money, then guess what, they return the favour quite readily themselves, they have giant monetary funds that exist for that purpose alone. 

I'm not even sure how this is a debate, you know why Nation exists in my eyes? So there is a circle of people we are naturally predisposed to relate to. Obviously it also exists so governments can make you go to war in the name of it, but that is a side issue at best in Europe...and why? Oh yeah, the European Union. 

So why wouldn't we want to make that bigger, we already made up being British, why not European, why limit yourself to 60 Million rather quite moody islanders, when you can rejoice at gaining 440 Million other comrades. I am of course, indulging in hyperbole, I don't really expect most people to share my view on being a European, but in the past it has been a point of view that has made others think, so I'm inclined to distribute it. 

Am I in favour of the Euro? Undecided, definitely more than most people in Britain, but equally, for now it is possible to continue without, and with the Eurozone Crisis the way it is, it will probably take 5+ years before it is feasible again. Not that everyone accepting being "European" as a substitute is very feasible at the moment either. For some reason, people don't seem happy with just belonging to a group themselves, they've got to dislike other groups as well, none more so than the British who have separate reasons to hate basically everyone on or off this continent...apparently, most don't amount to anything than by-gone stereotypes. Oh Nationalism, where did you go so wrong.

Then again, there is debate around if Einstein said most of his famous quotes. It is a nice one though, so it stays.

So before I make the mistake of going into even more lofty ideas, let me conclude like this, the UK cannot go it alone, it can barely go it with company. If David Cameron continues along this path successfully, or even if he continues unsuccessfully, it will harm British growth, more so than his bloody campaign of government cuts have already. If he isolates Britain politically and economically from the EU, only bad can come from it. This is akin to the mad bastard who jumps overboard when no-one is sure if the ship is actually sinking, only to have to climb back on later, with a cold, and looking thoroughly silly.



15 comments:

  1. 'Slightly' bias but entertaining. You make politics funny, which seems to make it more bearable

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    1. Thank you kindly sir, I've always maintained that politics is a comedy gold mine

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  2. I think countries which are physically attached to the land mass that is Europe accept it more readily. We are an island (albeit a heavily invaded one in the past) and so have an inborn get-your-hands-off island mentality.

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    1. Indeed, it is a terrible blight, Japan seems to suffer from largely the same thing. Amazing what some water can do to the ego.

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  3. Did you know that 400 million pounds is spent every year moving the european parliament between Strasbourg and Brussels every month because France insists it be in France and Germany insists it be in Brussels? This sort of beaurocracy and waste of money puts people off the Europe dream which started off a really good idea.

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    1. I heard it was 200 million pounds, but either way, yes, it is an illogical waste of money (though a drop in the ocean compared to the EU's budget), but equally, they are working to either limit or remove the monthly visit to Strasbourg, it has hardly a reason to call off the European Dream.

      On a similar note: An actually popular petition to sign on the subject: http://www.oneseat.eu/

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  4. I trust your facts more than i trust mine and shall look up the petition. Thanks.

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  5. How much would anyone give to see David Cameron in a onesie?

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    1. As long as it was one of those prisoner onesies (if they can even be called onesies). We are half through until the next election! Only 2 and a half years until we can evict Mr Cameron

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    2. Yes but unless Jeremy Clarkson stands for election there isn't a one of them I'd vote for. Would you?

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    3. Ahh, see I would vote for Ed Miliband in an instant, or David, or any of the labour crew. I made my mistake last time by voting for the Lib Dems, not going to happen again, and I'd rather join the unceasing Jihadists of Mali than vote Conservative.

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    4. I have a feeling Calamity Clegg is in for a rude awakening next election. Ed does seem like a nice man.

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    5. I wouldn't be surprised if the lib dems didn't go down to like 5% in 2015

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    6. I think for the sake of 5 yrs in a coalition they have given up any chance of ever doing well again. Well thought out, Nick.

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    7. Indeed, but thankfully all those votes will go flowing back into the Labour sea. So we can all forget this terrible five year flirt with failure ever occurred.

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