I love GTA, oh how I love it so. Ever since the tender age
of 10 or so when I beat my first old lady to death with a bat, continuing on
well into her death as the blood continued to paint the pavement in crimson red
success around her, I knew I had a new favorite game. A Crash Bandicoot beater
that fully deserved the title.
Now I’m just going to say for the record that Vice City is
my favorite GTA and I found GTA IV relatively lackluster and pretty dull
overall, although clearly very well made. Basically I saw the trailer to GTA V and then heard some rumors and what may or may not be official news and then based on what’s being lauded about the game e.g it’s size and multiple
characters, I had a few fears that I wanted to vent about how I think GTA’s
gotten quite drastically stale since San Andreas and a few of my concerns as to
the potential ways in which the direction they’re taking the game may not help
this fact.
Also I played the previous GTA games recently okay so don’t just
say it’s nostalgia talking. It definitely might not be nostalgia. Let’s get
going then shall we.
My first concern with the game is the supposed size of the
map. Its size is larger than the maps of Red Dead Redemption, San Andreas and
GTA IV combined. I remember the map from San Andreas, or at least part of it
because you’d have to be rain man to recall all of that. I remember how
impressive it was, how ridiculous the scale was for an open world game. But I
also remember how long the journey times were, the expanse of nothingness for
large parts, and I certainly remember no one including myself ever thinking
that San Andreas was too small. If anything, San Andreas even back then,
bordered on being too big. GTA, aside from its missions – which I’ll get to
later, has only ever had rampages and for the most part very mildly distracting
mini games to fill its world, give or take a few extra fun side missions like
racing and vigilantism. Unless you’re blowing shit up or doing a mission, then
there’s much else point to GTA other than going for a nice drive, which
personally bores me after a few minutes.
But this is my concern about the size
of GTA’s map, and that’s simply that by the sounds of it it’s way too big, and
I mean to an almost retarded level. Sure they’ll throw in some minigames here
and there, and alot more missions, but I still highly doubt that GTA V is going
to take much longer to complete than its predecessors. Afterall, it took
roughly under a hundred hours to collect everything in San Andreas, and that
was the biggest GTA game to date. But GTA V is about twice the size of it and a
part of me just can’t believe that it’ll take twice as long to complete. I mean
GTA’s good but I really don’t see that there’s enough content to fill up what
is basically a driving and shooting game. That’s all you really do after all.
And even if it did take 200 hours to do, I can’t believe that that’ll stem from
anything more than just extra time spent getting other places, or if you’re not
retarded using the shit ton of money that you’ll earn to take taxis everywhere.

Which one is the Niko of the pack i.e fucking unbearable
Mission wise however is where I most worry about GTA V. I
have to say that the fact there are three characters that you can switch
between at any time sounds cool, and as long as it’s not messy, which given the
fact it’s Rockstar, it’s going to look great and be smooth as hell, then that
should add alot more complexity to the missions. I can actually see how this
might cure the map being too large problem if you set out your characters in
triangulated positions across the fault. It’s also good because if there’s a
Niko in the pack it means we can swiftly abandon him for whichever character
resembles Tommy Vercetti the most. I prefer my killers to enjoy what they’re
doing. If I’m having fun then I want to know that the person I’m controlling is
having a great time too. I don’t want to kill and entire city, carpet bomb a
beautiful vista and then do a triple backflip out a jet and have my character
complaining that it’s not the life he wanted, like a shitty house guest that
came for Christmas and refused to leave.

There were a few stand out missions,
but for the most part every mission descended into going to an area, getting
rid of all the red dots, and then leaving the area. For the first time in a GTA
game it was the plot and not the missions that kept me going through that game.
Even by GTA San Andreas the missions were getting slightly duller, but this was
also an issue of the map being way too big, but this problem was solved for the
most part by including jets and bikes and hovercraft and planes and gang
members, as well as that rarely used burglary mini game that managed to just
about hold off the tedium. Not much information has been released at the
moment, but we do know that jets and dogs are in the game. Now jets are good
because you can have alot of cool missions in a jet, and it removes the
constant grind of driving to a place and killing a man, when you can fly in a
jet, land or alternatively sky dive out of it in order to kill a man.
Unfortunately this has already been done in San Andreas and up until most
recently Ballad of Gay Tony. It seems like they already shot their wad far too
early and will have to add something a little more special but it will at least
mix it up mildly.
Aside from any other problems it may have, one of them isn't going to be not looking damn incredible
The problem is that if GTA’s core remains too similar, e.g
driving and shooting, then that shit is just too old now to remain fresh. It’s
stale as day old French bread. GTA IV tried my patience, but another 100 hours
of just that for a basis of missions. That’ll kill me. It really is time that
GTA needs something extra added to it, and it can be done in such simple ways
that it doesn't even matter. Parkour would instantly give alot more mission
variation. Although I would hate to see it even a Max Payne style bullet time
would liven up the combat. Jesus even the Assassins Creed Revelations,
pointless as hell, waste of time, excuse to lie to the audience and make them
think you give a shit about content anymore bomb creation tool would liven up
the game. I’m sure they’ll add something, but my concern is that if they play
it too safe, if we've left that small period between Vice City and San Andreas
where Rockstar seemed to be adding variants to the combat, adding more
ridiculous stuff to do while not dipping in to the zany swinging dick show of Saint’s
Row.
But there’s a part of me which thinks Dan Houser is probably too pleased with GTA’s realism, it’s sleekness, it’s respect and it’s ruling over the videogame medium as the Goodfellas of games, while saints row handles the Bugsy Malone side of the business. I just want more shit to do along with the basic drive and shoot package, and I don’t think that you need to sacrifice the seriousness and charisma that GTA has currently in order to do this. Like if you were going to make a sequel to Goodfellas it could be just as good, it wouldn't necessarily have to be a Joe Pesci spin off where he gets resurrected and becomes a rapper.
But there’s a part of me which thinks Dan Houser is probably too pleased with GTA’s realism, it’s sleekness, it’s respect and it’s ruling over the videogame medium as the Goodfellas of games, while saints row handles the Bugsy Malone side of the business. I just want more shit to do along with the basic drive and shoot package, and I don’t think that you need to sacrifice the seriousness and charisma that GTA has currently in order to do this. Like if you were going to make a sequel to Goodfellas it could be just as good, it wouldn't necessarily have to be a Joe Pesci spin off where he gets resurrected and becomes a rapper.
Although technically this has already happened...On second thoughts maybe they should leave GTA V well alone.
I’m just saying there’s a sweet spot, and if they could find
it, you know that thing, that magic, then GTA can save itself from becoming
stale, or staler than it already is. But I'm getting a worrying feeling that having had a game with back to basics features set in Liberty City and now a game with jets, dirt bikes and parachutes set in San Andreas, it almost feels like Rockstar are just giving us the same thing as the last console generation all over again but in a newer engine. And if that is the case then where the hell is the Vice City remake.
I guess all we can do now is wait and see what they lay out on the table in the subsequent months before its March release. And if they don’t then I’m still gonna buy the damn things
anyway so who cares what I think. Rockstar I salute you and your ability to
release the same product over and over again and still make me buy it because
I’m just too bored to find something else to do.
God bless the gaming industry
Can i just say, i know diddly squat about Grand Theft Auto but welcome back Billy Bob - you've been gone too long!
ReplyDeleteThankyou stranger, I'll be sure to have more pointless thoughts and write about them
DeleteThat has to be the worst question I have heard this year! Please do us all a favor and stop posting this garbage and keep playing your GTA 3! You gotta be on some good shit....saying GTA 4 wasnt good, moron.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, GTA IV was really fun.
DeleteLet us hope there a lot of mini games to keep us from getting bored and something that gives us a reason into exploring the world. Originally, that is what got me into GTA. Wondering what ridiculous mini-game I had to perform by going across the map. One of my favorites actually turned out to be the big rig 53 foot truck driving missions in San Andreas. There was 10 levels and I remember levels 7 and on were really tough. If you hadn't explored or paid attention to the roads you really had a tough time of completing the missions.
ReplyDeleteI agree they were strangely addicting, although bordering slightly on too long and a soul drain to tip it just at the last minute. Also watching that damage bar with all the concern of a mother watching her retarded son near a canal was stressful as hell, but with some K Rose on the radio and my limited edition San Andreas bandana on my head, nothing made me happier as well.
DeleteAnonymous 2nd - if you're going to call someone a moron, you'd better learn how to spell favour.
ReplyDeleteAaah a grammar and spelling battle, this is the reason I set up a website with a comments section.
DeleteThis looks like it will be the best game of 2013, of course it will be worth buying, have you even seen the second trailer?
ReplyDeleteYeah saw it after writing this. Pretty damn excited now, but then again Rockstar trailers are always incredible. All I'm concerned about is that the game will burn itself out if it's too long and not varied enough. There could still only be just one great train crashing mission and then it could be tedious from then on. But I agree, probably won't be.
Delete