Sunday, 7 August 2016

I've Played No Man's Sky Early, Here's What I Think

Never has a game, made by so few, been hyped by so many. For a game which, until very recently, no one had spent that much time with, No Man's Sky has also taken on deity status amongst those of us burdened with the need for space exploration.

 I have received a copy early, through entirely legitimate means mind you, and no I didn't spend over a thousand dollars on it. I just pre-ordered it and it arrived on Saturday (06/08). So I've obviously sat in front of my screen, mouth agape and slightly moist, shoving it into my eyes as fast as possible. Here's my opinion, if you are avoiding any details of this game don't read this. I can't include video because all the major hosters are removing anything to do with the game but I do have some screenshots.

BUUUN bun bun bunbunbunbunbbababababaaaabaaa

Please bear in mind this is merely one idiot's opinion on a game which still has a pre-release patch to be downloaded and therefore does not represent the finished product and who the hell am I to sway your mind.

**UPDATE** Also, since I wrote this, details have been released of the massive changes coming to the game after it's patch, meaning this is basically my thoughts on a Beta release

Monday, 1 June 2015

Game Review: Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate (AKA, Dark Souls 3DS)

Hello Cynics, life has once again presented a brief window for me to scrawl on the canvas that is this website, and now I've got a mechanical keyboard so I feel like I'm that clerk at the beginning of Saving Private Ryan.


I've got bad news readership, they are back.

Sunday, 17 May 2015

Cynicast #17 - The Kojima/Konami Mystery and The Problem With Assassins Creed

These things come out about as regularly as joy manages to creep its way into my life. But that doesn't mean it doesn't happen at all, even if no one wants it or cares.

In this episode we jump shamelessly on the hot gaming topics of the week, such as Kojima leaving Konami and paid for mods.

But tangents and distraction soon kick in and we manage to have actual conversations about the state of the Assassin's Creed series and things such as that, so there's enough directionless chatter for a lot of varied tastes.

Anyway. Enjoy.

Saturday, 25 April 2015

What To Expect When You're Expecting (A General Election)


Hey ho kids, in case you haven't been paying attention, there's a bloody election on. As we enter the final stages of the campaigning, with so many different white men (and two white women)  vying for your attention it can be hard to follow it all. What follows is a handy guide for tuning out the droning of politics, and still having a rough idea what the over enthusiastic person in a coloured rosette has just said. Think of it as a Mystic Meg style prediction of what the major parties are going to be bitching about 
 for the next two weeks.

WARNING: CONTAINS IMAGES OF NIGEL FARAGE


Sunday, 15 February 2015

Some Of The Dicks I Had To Deal With While Working In Customer Service (Part 2)


This is a continuation (hence the part 2) from an earlier series of tales into how people are dicks to customer service workers. Here's the link. I'd probably read that one instead, as it's got the better content, since these stories are the stragglers. Enjoy it anyway.

So we shall now continue down this shit coated road to further understand a little more about why people are such idiots. There aren't many dicks in this next segment, but never fear, because in their place, there are more than enough examples of people being morons. This series of short stories will focus more on people's terrible excuses and their general incapability to plan their own lives.

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Character Study: John Marston, Red Dead Redemption


So I've just moved house, and with that comes one of the worst things that a modern man-child in the 21st century can suffer from, a lack of internet. Now I've been coping with this in a variety of ways, heroin primarily, with a healthy dose of beating my new house mate. But in between all that grey morality I've been playing my Xbox 360, something that for anyone following carefully never happens unless a Dynasty Warriors game has been released. 

So with my new found unemployment and freedom of a living room I decided to dive into a Rockstar release from before I was at university, Red Dead Redemption. I've also been playing some Dynasty Warriors 8 but I've given that more than enough blog time already. That particularly deviation from the Rockstar cash cow is what I want to talk about.

Sunday, 25 January 2015

Bad Things That Nobody Tells You About Living With Your Partner



Living together is supposed to be an amazing time in anyone's life. It's a moment where you've decided that you want to share your life with someone. Maybe not your whole life, but the day to day. The real stuff. You want to show them that you never want to be apart from one another. It's not just about you being together for short periods of time, on dates, where you can play a part and give them your best. You want them to truly experience you. For all that you are. And isn't that the purest form of love there is.

It's unfortunate then, that you, are an asshole.

Thursday, 8 January 2015

Charlie Hebdo: Charb Mort Libre

I'm currently busy moving out to a new house on January 10th, which is why I haven't been posting much, but the news stories around France the past two days have shocked me to the core.

Journalism is to hold a mirror to society, if you smash it, all you have is broken glass.

Charb Died Free. 07/01/2015

What a terrible world.

Wednesday, 7 January 2015

Some Of The Dicks I Had To Deal With While Working In Customer Service (Part 1)


There are a lot of assholes in the world, a topic that I think we've covered very well here. But people are always on a sliding scale of asshole. In our day to day life, while we walk the streets or bore away our lives at work, we might run into people who are slight dicks or maybe just mildly obtuse. But people out in the real world never quite hit a level of asshole that is shocking enough to talk about because they're out in the open, they're vulnerable to attack or retribution if they do anything wrong.

Friday, 2 January 2015

Holiday 2014: The Films that you only watch on TV at your parents house

So another year has come and gone, I will eulogise about 2014 at a later date but it represented an important milestone for me in several ways, the end of it is proving to be equally eventful as I'm currently in the process of moving out, hence the lack of output again. However as well as working a lot over the holidays I got a few chances to slump in the living room for a collectively longer time than I ever do the rest of the year. During this extraordinary time I watched a bunch of films I wouldn't normally and I've decided I'm gonna review a choice cut of the ones I enjoyed more than you'd expect.

Starting with....